Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
