why didn't you poke me back
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
