I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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