I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
barbara walters just said penis...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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