no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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