she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
