i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
