with your own penis?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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