so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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