That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
