nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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