Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize