dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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