Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
