Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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