I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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