a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My bed smells like the plague
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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