If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
