NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you had me at cake vodka
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
