I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
