3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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