Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i think i just lost a toe
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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