I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
