$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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