Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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