I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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