i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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