she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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