This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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