we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
