One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
