I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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