Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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