Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
