Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
