Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
