He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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