You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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