I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize