I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
