You can't motorboat a personality
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
