Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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