My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
