I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
