Apparently you make a good broom.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
