I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
