where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
