you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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