Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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