She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
