True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
