im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i out mim tonsoeep
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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