im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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