Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
