I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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