Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
high people should be assigned attendants
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
