It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i think we sleep fucked last night...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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