I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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