i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
