no, he came in my armpit
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
