It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
