Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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