I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
