i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
