Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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