I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
