I wannas sexs uuuuu
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
