Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize